My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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