your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
