mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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