Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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