did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
