Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she woke up with a sticky ear
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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