I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
