Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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