Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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