My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
