I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
