brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
