I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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