I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
