I just cut my nipple shaving
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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