He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
