I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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