I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
