Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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