i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
