He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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