You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
