Welp...herpes.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
