She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
