just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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