I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
