the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
