She went from zero to smokin in five shots
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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