So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
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Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.