Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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