What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we should paint friendship bongs
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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