i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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