I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
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So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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