"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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