porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The air taste purple.
Randomize
