I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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