if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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