I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
