why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
