I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
