I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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