I'm really into asian looking animals
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
ok first of all what the fuck
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
