She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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