You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
