i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
