The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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