I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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