I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize