Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
