She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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