HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
