Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
