Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
