the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
