She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
