i jhust puked up my retainher.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
