Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
