dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
