Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
