I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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