he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she smelled like a LAN party
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
