Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
