I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
