Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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