theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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