8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
