I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I need moral support for this bender
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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