Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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