dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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